[AT] Test...snow shoveler's diary

[Herbert Metz]

Richard; that is great.
Was going to ask where you lived; but changed my mind.
Snow is somewhat like fish and in-laws; good to see them come, but after
several days it is good to see them go.
Herb

> [Original Message]
> From: Richard Strobel <Richard_Strobel7 at msn.com>
> To: Antique tractor email discussion group <at at lists.antique-tractor.com>
> Date: 12/12/2010 12:20:58 PM
> Subject: Re: [AT] Test...snow shoveler's diary
>
>
>   Gotta luv it, and I as a kid can relate to this  <vbg>
>
> December 8: 6:00 PM.
> It started to snow. The first snow of the season and the wife and I took
our 
> cocktails and sat for hours by the window watching the huge soft flakes 
> drift down from heaven. It looked like a Grandma Moses Print. So romantic
we 
> felt like newlyweds again. I love snow!
>
> December 9:
> We woke to a beautiful blanket of crystal white snow covering every inch
of 
> the landscape. What a fantastic sight! Can there be a more lovely place
in 
> the Whole World? Moving here was the best idea I've ever had. Shoveled
for 
> the first time in years and felt like a boy again. I did both our
driveway 
> and the sidewalks. This afternoon the snowplow came along and covered up
the 
> sidewalks and closed in the driveway, so I got to shovel again. What a 
> perfect life.
>
> December 12:
> The sun has melted all our lovely snow. Such a disappointment. My
neighbor 
> tells me not to worry, we'll definitely have a white Christmas. No snow
on 
> Christmas would be awful! Bob says we'll have so much snow by the end of 
> winter, that I'll never want to see snow again. I don't think that's 
> possible. Bob is such a nice man I'm glad he's our neighbor.
>
> December 14:
> Snow lovely snow! 8" last night. The temperature dropped to -20. The cold 
> makes everything sparkle so. The wind took my breath away, but I warmed
up 
> by shoveling the driveway and sidewalks. This is the life! The snowplow
came 
> back this afternoon and buried everything again. I didn't realize I would 
> have to do quite this much shoveling, but I'll certainly get back in
shape 
> this way. I wish I wouldn't huff and puff so.
>
> December 15:
> 20 inches forecast. Sold my van and bought a 4x4 Blazer. Bought snow
tires 
> for the wife's car and 2 extra shovels. Stocked the freezer. The wife
wants 
> a wood stove in case the electricity goes out. I think that's silly. We 
> aren't in Alaska, after all.
>
> December 16:
> Ice storm this morning. Fell on my ass on the ice in the driveway putting 
> down salt. Hurt like hell. The wife laughed for an hour, which I think
was 
> very cruel.
>
> December 17:
> Still way below freezing. Roads are too icy to go anywhere. Electricity
was 
> off for 5 hours. I had to pile the blankets on to stay warm. Nothing to
do 
> but stare at the wife and try not to irritate her. Guess I should've
bought 
> a wood stove, but won't admit it to her. God I hate it when she's right.
I 
> can't believe I'm freezing to death in my own living room.
>
> December 20:
> Electricity's back on, but had another 14" of the damn stuff last night. 
> More shoveling. Took all day. Goddamn snowplow came by twice. Tried to
find 
> a neighbor kid to shovel, but they said they're too busy playing hockey.
I 
> think they're lying. Called the only hardware store around to see about 
> buying a snow blower and they're out. Might have another shipment in
March. 
> I think they're lying. Bob says I have to shovel or the city will have it 
> done and bill me. I think he's lying.
>
> December 22:
> Bob was right about a white Christmas because 13 more inches of the white 
> shit fell today, and it's so cold it probably won't melt till August.
Took 
> me 45 minutes to get all dressed up to go out to shovel and then I had to 
> piss. By the time I got undressed, pissed and dressed again. I was too
tired 
> to shovel. Tried to hire Bob who has a plow on his truck for the rest of
the 
> winter; but he says he's too busy. I think the asshole is lying.
>
> December 23:
> Only 2" of snow today. And it warmed up to 0o. The wife wanted me to 
> decorate the front of the house this morning. What is she nuts!!! Why
didn't 
> she tell me to do that a month ago? She says she did but I think she's 
> lying.
>
> December 24:
> 6". Snow packed so hard by snowplow, l broke the shovel. Thought I was 
> having a heart attack. If I ever catch the son of a bitch who drives that 
> snowplow, I'll drag him through the snow by his balls. I know he hides 
> around the corner and waits for me to finish shoveling and then he comes 
> down the street at a 100 miles an hour and throws snow all over where
I've 
> just been! Tonight the wife wanted me to sing Christmas Carols with her
and 
> open our presents, but I was busy watching for the goddamn snowplow.
>
> December 25:
> Merry Christmas. 20 more inches of the !=3D at x@!x!x1 slop tonight. Snowed
in. 
> The idea of shoveling makes my blood boil. God I hate the snow! Then the 
> snowplow driver came by asking for a donation and I hit him over the head 
> with my shovel. The wife says I have a bad attitude. I think she's an
idiot. 
> If I have to watch "It's a Wonderful Life" one more time, I'm going to
kill 
> her.
>
> December 26:
> Still snowed in. Why the hell did I ever move here? It was all HER idea. 
> She's really getting on my nerves.
>
> December 27:
> Temperature dropped to -30o and the pipes froze.
>
> December 28:
> Warmed up to above -50. Still snowed in. THE BITCH is driving me
crazy!!!!!
>
> December 29:
> 10 more inches. Bob says I have to shovel the roof or it could cave in. 
> That's the silliest thing I ever heard. How dumb does he think I am?
>
> December 30:
> Roof caved in. The snow plow driver is suing me for a million dollars.
The 
> wife went home to her mother. 9" predicted.
>
> December 31:
> Set fire to what's left of the house. No more shoveling.
>
> January 8:
> I feel so good. I just love those little white pills they keep giving me. 
> Why am I tied to the bed?
>
>  
>
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