[AT] Test...snow shoveler's diary

[Mattias Kessén]

I'm ready for those pills now.

Mattias

2010/12/12 Herbert Metz <metz-h.b at mindspring.com>

> Richard; that is great.
> Was going to ask where you lived; but changed my mind.
> Snow is somewhat like fish and in-laws; good to see them come, but after
> several days it is good to see them go.
> Herb
>
> > [Original Message]
> > From: Richard Strobel <Richard_Strobel7 at msn.com>
> > To: Antique tractor email discussion group <at at lists.antique-tractor.com
> >
> > Date: 12/12/2010 12:20:58 PM
> > Subject: Re: [AT] Test...snow shoveler's diary
> >
> >
> >   Gotta luv it, and I as a kid can relate to this  <vbg>
> >
> > December 8: 6:00 PM.
> > It started to snow. The first snow of the season and the wife and I took
> our
> > cocktails and sat for hours by the window watching the huge soft flakes
> > drift down from heaven. It looked like a Grandma Moses Print. So romantic
> we
> > felt like newlyweds again. I love snow!
> >
> > December 9:
> > We woke to a beautiful blanket of crystal white snow covering every inch
> of
> > the landscape. What a fantastic sight! Can there be a more lovely place
> in
> > the Whole World? Moving here was the best idea I've ever had. Shoveled
> for
> > the first time in years and felt like a boy again. I did both our
> driveway
> > and the sidewalks. This afternoon the snowplow came along and covered up
> the
> > sidewalks and closed in the driveway, so I got to shovel again. What a
> > perfect life.
> >
> > December 12:
> > The sun has melted all our lovely snow. Such a disappointment. My
> neighbor
> > tells me not to worry, we'll definitely have a white Christmas. No snow
> on
> > Christmas would be awful! Bob says we'll have so much snow by the end of
> > winter, that I'll never want to see snow again. I don't think that's
> > possible. Bob is such a nice man I'm glad he's our neighbor.
> >
> > December 14:
> > Snow lovely snow! 8" last night. The temperature dropped to -20. The cold
> > makes everything sparkle so. The wind took my breath away, but I warmed
> up
> > by shoveling the driveway and sidewalks. This is the life! The snowplow
> came
> > back this afternoon and buried everything again. I didn't realize I would
> > have to do quite this much shoveling, but I'll certainly get back in
> shape
> > this way. I wish I wouldn't huff and puff so.
> >
> > December 15:
> > 20 inches forecast. Sold my van and bought a 4x4 Blazer. Bought snow
> tires
> > for the wife's car and 2 extra shovels. Stocked the freezer. The wife
> wants
> > a wood stove in case the electricity goes out. I think that's silly. We
> > aren't in Alaska, after all.
> >
> > December 16:
> > Ice storm this morning. Fell on my ass on the ice in the driveway putting
> > down salt. Hurt like hell. The wife laughed for an hour, which I think
> was
> > very cruel.
> >
> > December 17:
> > Still way below freezing. Roads are too icy to go anywhere. Electricity
> was
> > off for 5 hours. I had to pile the blankets on to stay warm. Nothing to
> do
> > but stare at the wife and try not to irritate her. Guess I should've
> bought
> > a wood stove, but won't admit it to her. God I hate it when she's right.
> I
> > can't believe I'm freezing to death in my own living room.
> >
> > December 20:
> > Electricity's back on, but had another 14" of the damn stuff last night.
> > More shoveling. Took all day. Goddamn snowplow came by twice. Tried to
> find
> > a neighbor kid to shovel, but they said they're too busy playing hockey.
> I
> > think they're lying. Called the only hardware store around to see about
> > buying a snow blower and they're out. Might have another shipment in
> March.
> > I think they're lying. Bob says I have to shovel or the city will have it
> > done and bill me. I think he's lying.
> >
> > December 22:
> > Bob was right about a white Christmas because 13 more inches of the white
> > shit fell today, and it's so cold it probably won't melt till August.
> Took
> > me 45 minutes to get all dressed up to go out to shovel and then I had to
> > piss. By the time I got undressed, pissed and dressed again. I was too
> tired
> > to shovel. Tried to hire Bob who has a plow on his truck for the rest of
> the
> > winter; but he says he's too busy. I think the asshole is lying.
> >
> > December 23:
> > Only 2" of snow today. And it warmed up to 0o. The wife wanted me to
> > decorate the front of the house this morning. What is she nuts!!! Why
> didn't
> > she tell me to do that a month ago? She says she did but I think she's
> > lying.
> >
> > December 24:
> > 6". Snow packed so hard by snowplow, l broke the shovel. Thought I was
> > having a heart attack. If I ever catch the son of a bitch who drives that
> > snowplow, I'll drag him through the snow by his balls. I know he hides
> > around the corner and waits for me to finish shoveling and then he comes
> > down the street at a 100 miles an hour and throws snow all over where
> I've
> > just been! Tonight the wife wanted me to sing Christmas Carols with her
> and
> > open our presents, but I was busy watching for the goddamn snowplow.
> >
> > December 25:
> > Merry Christmas. 20 more inches of the !=3D at x@!x!x1 slop tonight. Snowed
> in.
> > The idea of shoveling makes my blood boil. God I hate the snow! Then the
> > snowplow driver came by asking for a donation and I hit him over the head
> > with my shovel. The wife says I have a bad attitude. I think she's an
> idiot.
> > If I have to watch "It's a Wonderful Life" one more time, I'm going to
> kill
> > her.
> >
> > December 26:
> > Still snowed in. Why the hell did I ever move here? It was all HER idea.
> > She's really getting on my nerves.
> >
> > December 27:
> > Temperature dropped to -30o and the pipes froze.
> >
> > December 28:
> > Warmed up to above -50. Still snowed in. THE BITCH is driving me
> crazy!!!!!
> >
> > December 29:
> > 10 more inches. Bob says I have to shovel the roof or it could cave in.
> > That's the silliest thing I ever heard. How dumb does he think I am?
> >
> > December 30:
> > Roof caved in. The snow plow driver is suing me for a million dollars.
> The
> > wife went home to her mother. 9" predicted.
> >
> > December 31:
> > Set fire to what's left of the house. No more shoveling.
> >
> > January 8:
> > I feel so good. I just love those little white pills they keep giving me.
> > Why am I tied to the bed?
> >
> >
> >
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