[AT] What to do..

charliehill charliehill at embarqmail.com
Fri Apr 30 05:53:52 PDT 2010 

Cecil you are facing a tough situation, no doubt.  A word of warning to you. 
I had an uncle who was disabled relatively young with COPD from working as a 
welder in a ship yard and smoking his entire life.  Then he developed 
dementia.  His wife was an active, healthy woman when he got so sick that he 
needed constant attention.  She didn't want to put him in a nursing home and 
insisted on looking out for him herself.  In the few years he lived after 
that I watched her go down hill quickly from the strain of looking out for 
him.  I don't think she lasted a year after he died.

The message here is that sometimes you have to do what  is best for you as 
well as what is best for the person you are caring for.  Even if it your 
motives are mis-understood.

Charlie
----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Cecil Bearden" <crbearden at copper.net>
To: "Antique tractor email discussion group" <at at lists.antique-tractor.com>
Sent: Friday, April 30, 2010 8:43 AM
Subject: Re: [AT] What to do..


>I just hope that none of you are put in ther situation I am in.  If so, 
>find
> a nursing home and forget about making the decision.
> Cecil in OKla
> ----- Original Message ----- 
> From: "Louis" <louis at kellnet.com>
> To: "'Antique tractor email discussion group'"
> <at at lists.antique-tractor.com>
> Sent: Thursday, April 29, 2010 9:08 PM
> Subject: Re: [AT] What to do..
>
>
>> Cecil,
>>
>> I have sold a few things in life, as I am sure most of us have.  I have
>> learned never to promise to hold something for someone, because I did
>> when I was younger, I lost a sale because of a big talker.  I learned
>> the hard way, the first one with the cash in hand is the buyer.  I
>> understand sometimes circumstances can get in the way, but that really
>> isn't the sellers problem.  The person selling the item wants their
>> money and to be done with having to put up with 15 phone calls a day,
>> and 14.5 of the calls are from dreamers.  I have had people call and act
>> real serious about buying something and then never show up.  I have had
>> people say to me "I really wanted to buy that _____, but you sold it", I
>> then tell them, you should have been here with the money than.  I don't
>> know a persons true intention, until I see the cash.
>>
>> I have had people want me to finance the item for them, I just smile and
>> tell them I am not a bank.  One that really sticks in my mind, back in
>> the 80's, I was selling a Jeep CJ5 that I had.  I parked in the parking
>> lot of my dad's office in town, with a sign in it.  There is a bank
>> across the street from the office.  There was a girl that worked at the
>> bank, she wanted to by the Jeep.  She came over on a Friday afternoon
>> after work to look at it. She wanted to test drive it, OK Fine, but I am
>> riding along, I was already getting a bad vibe about this situation.  We
>> got back to the office, she asked if she could have it for the weekend.
>> Uhhh NO!!  Then she asked if she could make payments to me for the Jeep.
>> Uhhh NO again.  I said you work at the bank, get a loan from them.  She
>> told me they wouldn't give her a loan.  I told her that I think we were
>> done.  She was ticked off at me, because I told her no twice.  I walked
>> away thinking to myself, either I look like a big fool, or Santa Claus.
>>
>> I am up front with people when they call or come looking; I tell them
>> the first person with the money is the buyer.  If you need time to get
>> the money, I need 25% up front, it is not refundable, and they have 7
>> day to come up with the rest of the money.  I have had a few takers on
>> giving a deposit.  I figure if a person is serious about buying, putting
>> down a deposit should not be a problem.  It scares the dreamers and
>> talkers away.  I will be reasonable, if someone want to think about it
>> overnight, OK, but I need to know in the morning what your intentions
>> are.  But, I will never say that someone else called and wants to look
>> at it, and make the other person wait.  I have lost out on buying
>> things, because I was not able to get somewhere to make the deal happen,
>> that's life.  If I have to drive more than 25 miles, I call first to
>> make sure someone is home and if they still have what I want.
>>
>> Lou
>>
>>
>>
>> -----Original Message-----
>> From: at-bounces at lists.antique-tractor.com
>> [mailto:at-bounces at lists.antique-tractor.com] On Behalf Of Cecil Bearden
>> Sent: Thursday, April 29, 2010 8:22 AM
>> To: Antique tractor email discussion group
>> Subject: Re: [AT] What to do..
>>
>>
>> Louis wrote:
>>> Take the money and buy it.  If the other person really wanted it bad,
>>> they would have grabbed it now instead of waiting till Saturday. Cash
>>> talks and bullcrap walks.
>>>
>>> Lou
>>>
>>> -----Original Message-----
>>> From: at-bounces at lists.antique-tractor.com
>>> [mailto:at-bounces at lists.antique-tractor.com] On Behalf Of
>>> jahaze at aol.com
>>> Sent: Wednesday, April 28, 2010 8:43 PM
>>> To: at at lists.antique-tractor.com
>>> Subject: Re: [AT] What to do..
>>>
>>>
>>> OK, here's the update.  I just spoke to the lady and as I suspected,
>>> she has been innundated with phone calls.  The first caller won't be
>>> there until Saturday, but she welcomed me to come over and look at it
>>> tomorrow anyway.  I'm going to take her up on that offer.  Would it be
>>
>>> wrong for me to take a pocket full of hundreds along and buy it first?
>>>
>>> Enjoy, Joe
>>>
>>>
>>> _______________________________________________
>>> AT mailing list http://www.antique-tractor.com/mailman/listinfo/at
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>> _______________________________________________
>>> AT mailing list http://www.antique-tractor.com/mailman/listinfo/at
>>>
>>>
>> Lou:
>> Your comment struck a nerve!
>> I might have agreed with you a year ago, but  In my situation, I had a
>> great deal on a Case 1170 w/loader about 60 miles from here.  I talked
>> to the guy and explained my situation that I could not get anyone to
>> stay with my invalid Father until the next day.  We also discussed my
>> designing a /geothermal heat system for his house he was remodeling.  I
>> called the next day as I was leaving with my truck and trailer and he
>> said that a guy had come out about 8 that night and bought it.  He had
>> agreed to hold it for me.
>> Also lost a good buy on a Belarus in Kansas I had won on Ebay.  Was
>> going to pay at time of pickup.  Someone came from Eastern OK a day
>> earlier, & told the seller they were me.  I was out a 300 mile trip, as
>> I had to wait 2 days until I could get someone to stay with my Dad.  I
>> had been awarded this tractor on Ebay.   Sure glad I did not  use Paypal
>>
>> to pay for it.    Since the SOB in Eastern OK paid cash I could not
>> trace him down...  Ebay could care less.  I also had bought a tractor
>> just 2 miles west of here, was in AN ESTATE BEING HANDLED BY   the
>> daughter.  I gave her a check for $1500 for a 2135 MF w/shuttle, did not
>>
>> have that much cash on me.  She was going to go by the bank and cash
>> it.  Money was in the account.  She called the next morning to tell me
>> that the bank wold not cash the check in the drive thru and she had a
>> buyer for the $1750 asking price with cash.  Did I want my check or  to
>> tear it up??  I checked with the teller supervisor at the bank and no
>> one had presented a check of mine and  if they had it would have been
>> cashed...
>> I bought a cab & chassis truck and was waiting on a clear title and keys
>>
>> from the seller before I gave him the money..  A "friend" (also is a
>> nazarene minister now running for governor) came by and offered $1 more
>> than the price and paid cash and got the truck.  The guy's son had over
>> $10K of my equipment !!!
>>
>> My point is this, If you make a deal over the phone, in person, or
>> wherever, stick to your word!  If you lose everything, all you have left
>>
>> is your name.  If it is good, you can start over.
>>
>> I know I have a bad attitude toward this because I have been saddled
>> with taking care of my Dad due to his stupid decision to have a knee
>> replaced too soon after the other one.  Now, my wife & I cannot enjoy
>> retirement for having to take care of him and I have to do consulting
>> work and machinery restoration and haying in order to pay for the $40k
>> it costs to have someone stay with him, or lose everything I have worked
>>
>> for over the last 40 years...
>>
>> Yeah. Cash Talks. Bulls*@t walks.  So do a##holes!!
>> Cecil in OKla
>> _______________________________________________
>> AT mailing list http://www.antique-tractor.com/mailman/listinfo/at
>>
>>
>>
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