[AT] What to do..

Ben Wagner ben at olde-books.com
Fri Apr 30 06:09:55 PDT 2010


charliehill wrote:
> Cecil you are facing a tough situation, no doubt.  A word of warning to you. 
> I had an uncle who was disabled relatively young with COPD from working as a 
> welder in a ship yard and smoking his entire life.  Then he developed 
> dementia.  His wife was an active, healthy woman when he got so sick that he 
> needed constant attention.  She didn't want to put him in a nursing home and 
> insisted on looking out for him herself.  In the few years he lived after 
> that I watched her go down hill quickly from the strain of looking out for 
> him.  I don't think she lasted a year after he died.
>
> The message here is that sometimes you have to do what  is best for you as 
> well as what is best for the person you are caring for.  Even if it your 
> motives are mis-understood.
>
> Charlie
> ----- Original Message ----- 
> From: "Cecil Bearden" <crbearden at copper.net>
> To: "Antique tractor email discussion group" <at at lists.antique-tractor.com>
> Sent: Friday, April 30, 2010 8:43 AM
> Subject: Re: [AT] What to do..
>
>
>   
>> I just hope that none of you are put in ther situation I am in.  If so, 
>> find
>> a nursing home and forget about making the decision.
>> Cecil in OKla
>> ----- Original Message ----- 
>> From: "Louis" <louis at kellnet.com>
>> To: "'Antique tractor email discussion group'"
>> <at at lists.antique-tractor.com>
>> Sent: Thursday, April 29, 2010 9:08 PM
>> Subject: Re: [AT] What to do..
>>     
>>> Lou:
>>> Your comment struck a nerve!
>>> I might have agreed with you a year ago, but  In my situation, I had a
>>> great deal on a Case 1170 w/loader about 60 miles from here.  I talked
>>> to the guy and explained my situation that I could not get anyone to
>>> stay with my invalid Father until the next day.  We also discussed my
>>> designing a /geothermal heat system for his house he was remodeling.  I
>>> called the next day as I was leaving with my truck and trailer and he
>>> said that a guy had come out about 8 that night and bought it.  He had
>>> agreed to hold it for me.
>>> Also lost a good buy on a Belarus in Kansas I had won on Ebay.  Was
>>> going to pay at time of pickup.  Someone came from Eastern OK a day
>>> earlier, & told the seller they were me.  I was out a 300 mile trip, as
>>> I had to wait 2 days until I could get someone to stay with my Dad.  I
>>> had been awarded this tractor on Ebay.   Sure glad I did not  use Paypal
>>>
>>> to pay for it.    Since the SOB in Eastern OK paid cash I could not
>>> trace him down...  Ebay could care less.  I also had bought a tractor
>>> just 2 miles west of here, was in AN ESTATE BEING HANDLED BY   the
>>> daughter.  I gave her a check for $1500 for a 2135 MF w/shuttle, did not
>>>
>>> have that much cash on me.  She was going to go by the bank and cash
>>> it.  Money was in the account.  She called the next morning to tell me
>>> that the bank wold not cash the check in the drive thru and she had a
>>> buyer for the $1750 asking price with cash.  Did I want my check or  to
>>> tear it up??  I checked with the teller supervisor at the bank and no
>>> one had presented a check of mine and  if they had it would have been
>>> cashed...
>>> I bought a cab & chassis truck and was waiting on a clear title and keys
>>>
>>> from the seller before I gave him the money..  A "friend" (also is a
>>> nazarene minister now running for governor) came by and offered $1 more
>>> than the price and paid cash and got the truck.  The guy's son had over
>>> $10K of my equipment !!!
>>>
>>> My point is this, If you make a deal over the phone, in person, or
>>> wherever, stick to your word!  If you lose everything, all you have left
>>>
>>> is your name.  If it is good, you can start over.
>>>
>>> I know I have a bad attitude toward this because I have been saddled
>>> with taking care of my Dad due to his stupid decision to have a knee
>>> replaced too soon after the other one.  Now, my wife & I cannot enjoy
>>> retirement for having to take care of him and I have to do consulting
>>> work and machinery restoration and haying in order to pay for the $40k
>>> it costs to have someone stay with him, or lose everything I have worked
>>>
>>> for over the last 40 years...
>>>
>>> Yeah. Cash Talks. Bulls*@t walks.  So do a##holes!!
>>> Cecil in OKla
>>> _______________________________________________
>>> AT mailing list http://www.antique-tractor.com/mailman/listinfo/at
>>>       
Cecil, I want you to know that I admire your decision to take care of 
your Dad.  It is not too many people who have the integrity to take care 
of their parents when the rubber hits the road.  I know there are times 
when it is hard, and are times when you can't take of them, but I have a 
lot of respect for those who do. 

Even if your Dad made a stupid decision, I am sure he is thankful too 
for your care, even if he doesn't show it.

Ben Wagner



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