[Farmall] Any advice on THIS problem (Off Topic...sorry)

[James Moran]

FD-
  Solid and, obviously, reflective advice drawn (at least in part) from your own experience(s).
  This child is the eldest of four.  His mother is a music teacher  (ironically in the same school district AND, until this year, she  taught in the same school attended by the boy) and his father works  (long and hard hours) managing a "quick-stop" type of store.   Point here is that the costs associated with some private school are  prohibitive and I am not all together sure that "privates" are any  better operated that the "publics".  My own two daughters attended  private schools through high school and did very, very well.   However, they were (dangerous word selection, here) "normal".   They came home with plenty of unpleasant tales, even from these  expensive institutions.  Obviously, home schooling is not in the  cards.
 I have heard it said that there is no such thing as a  "depressed" person...only a "lonely" person.  I don't know if that  is a valid observation or not.  However, this kid in question is  isolated.  At odd times he will materialize on my doorstep (and at  other neighbors as well) with a sort of "Wanna play with me?" posture.
  Black Creek winds through my property, setting up what might be called  a "Creek Area" of maybe two acres or so.  It teems with wildlife,  birds especially.  Frank, this boy knows birds chapter and  verse.  Along with his father, we have offered to allow him to  establish something of a "bird sanctuary" where he could observe, put  up housing to attract certain species, etc.  He is very much  interested in this.  Naturally, my reservations gravitate to him  being in proximity to the water.  You just can't win...there are  answers that are not joined at the hip with a "yeah, but....".
  BTW, they are a Christian family and the mother serves as a pastor (of some sort) at their church.
  Thanks for taking the time to keep up this exchange.
  JM

Frank DeWitt <Frank at lbpinc.com> wrote:  
How can one "minimize" the obvious disadvantages if, in fact, he is 
in  the Asperger's category.  Must he anticipate a lifetime 
of  medication?  If he does not have the "brakes" that most of 
us  posess, how will he be able to function safely as an adult?
   JM

Frank DeWitt 
<Frank at lbpinc.com>

I don't know the boy, and I don't know medicine. I do know that being 
a bit different is a MUCH bigger problem in a public school then it 
is in life.  I have a nephew with Asperger's and when he was 
diagnosed my brother told me about it.  We both agreed that I had it 
as well but I have never been formally diagnosed or treated. As a 
person who probably has this syndrome, a parent, and a veteran of 14 
years on a private school board I can tell you that kids in school 
require absolute conformity. violators will be punished. also the 
schools have one set way of teaching (sit in a group and look and 
listen)  If you can not or will not sit still, or you can not or will 
not learn this way you are in big trouble.  The schools will do what 
it takes to get the kid to sit still and be quiet.  Learning is 
optional.  The other kids will never let up.


In real life, it is much easier, Adults require less conformity. and 
we all can find a place where we fit.  I have found a good job (My 
own business) and a great Church and a small number of close 
friends.  and no medication for this syndrome, ever.

Regarding your question.  I like the suggestion some one made about 
having him use a garden tractor and a trailer.  Make it clear that he 
can move up by proving him self,  also that he can delay moving up. 
(making it clear that it isn't punishment, he just has to prove him 
self)  You are not his parent.  If I could talk to his parents, I 
would plead with them to get him out of school.

The biggest helps to me in the order they happened were;

1  Realizing there were others like me who were great people. (The 
first one I discovered on my own was Thomas Edison)
2. Getting out of school and away from the pressure to conform when I 
couldn't conform.
3. Finding Jesus Christ.  That gave me unconditional acceptance, and 
a set of rules that made sense to me and always worked.

My brother who doesn't know Christ told me the time that my symptoms 
greatly reduced and asked me how I did it. I explained that I hadn't 
done any thing at that time except, accept Jesus.

Thank you for taking an interest in him.

Frank

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