[AT] A commentary on how to win friends and influence people at tractor shows
David Rotigel
rotigel at me.com
Thu Oct 9 06:22:38 PDT 2014
I've found that the vast majority of the time the way I treat people is usually the way I am treated by them. As a child, 70 some years ago My parents always taught me to act in a respectful way toward policeman. It was always "Sir" or "Officer" or Trooper"--never even "cop". Out of habit I still do so. That sort of habit also holds true when meeting even a good friend today. It's as likely to be "Good morning Sir" instead of "Hi Jim". Once or twice when some idiot objects to one of my tail-gate stickers I've even been known to ask them "And, Sir, what exactly bothers you about my sign?" That, said in a calm voice and a smile usually means that we either have a discussion and end up laughing with (or perhaps at--but all in good fun) each other. While it was my father (I think) who taught me respect for others, I guess it was my mother who reminded me OFTEN "people usually treat you the way you treat them. All not as true as when I was a kid, but none-the-less, still true!
Dave
On Oct 8, 2014, at 11:13 PM, Cecil R Bearden <crbearden at copper.net> wrote:
> I have had very few good experiences with any law enforcement personnel
> in my home state. However you have to remember, a cop from my home
> town wrote a kid's mother a $2500 ticket for peeing in his own yard. A
> bunch of cops from a suburb south of here killed an older fellow while
> holding him down trying to arrest him for attempting to discipline his
> daughter. ( he never hit the girl) His entire family watched as he
> died. A cop from OKC is now back in jail after being out on bail for
> making women perform sexual favors for him when he stopped them... I
> personally think any law enforcement individual thinks they are above
> the law.
>
> I do not blame you for your attitude toward this show. however, I would
> write them or send an email. My wife gets so irritated at me when I
> write folks, but it gets results, and I want revenge!!!!
>
> Cecil in OKla
>
>
> On 10/8/2014 7:12 PM, David Rotigel wrote:
>> I fully understand how you feel Charlie--been there, done that! However, I think it's wrong to stop going to a show because of how ONY GUY acts. I've never been to the show in Smithsburg (and don't know anyone there, or even where it is) but I hope you will reconsider after a while. Particularly if you have enjoyed the show (and its people) in the past!
>> Dave
>>
>> On Oct 8, 2014, at 7:43 PM, charlie hill <charliehill at embarqmail.com> wrote:
>>
>>> I won't be back at Smithsburg.
>>>
>>> Charlie
>>>
>>> -----Original Message-----
>>> From: David Bruce
>>> Sent: Wednesday, October 08, 2014 7:19 PM
>>> To: Antique tractor email discussion group
>>> Subject: Re: [AT] A commentary on how to win friends and influence people at
>>> tractor shows
>>>
>>> I agree with Charlie that there are better ways to get to the same point.
>>> Tone does matter.
>>>
>>> David
>>> NW NC
>>>
>>> On 10/8/2014 6:49 PM, David Rotigel wrote:
>>>> I realize that a tone of voice can mean A LOT in this sort of situation,
>>>> but, having said that, I do not see anything wrong with the words that the
>>>> guy used.
>>>> Dave
>>>>
>>>> On Oct 8, 2014, at 4:11 PM, charlie hill <charliehill at embarqmail.com>
>>>> wrote:
>>>>
>>>>> I offer this as constructive criticism to folks that volunteer with
>>>>> tractor
>>>>> and engine shows.
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>> Weekend before last we were in Hagerstown, MD visiting Lynn's parents.
>>>>> We
>>>>> usually go
>>>>> about this time of the year and come back with a few bushels of apples
>>>>> from
>>>>> our favorite
>>>>> apple farm. The farm happens to be out very near to Smithsburg, MD where
>>>>> they hold an
>>>>> annual "Steam Show" on that very weekend. I've been before and enjoyed
>>>>> it
>>>>> very much so we
>>>>> decided to ride by there after we left the orchard. We didn't have time
>>>>> to
>>>>> take the show in
>>>>> and do it justice so we were just going to stop long enough for me to
>>>>> take a
>>>>> quick look around.
>>>>> I just wanted to see if they had a good crowd and if they had the same
>>>>> sort
>>>>> of displays they had in years gone by. Plus I had
>>>>> my Jack Russell Terrier with me and there is NO WAY to take a Jack
>>>>> Russell
>>>>> to an engine show.
>>>>> I don't think that Mike Rohr (sorry I that is probably misspelled) who is
>>>>> part of that show still reads this list
>>>>> so I don't know who I'm addressing this too if anyone so I guess it is
>>>>> addressed to whom ever might
>>>>> benefit from it.
>>>>>
>>>>> Now let me stop right here and explain that I know full well that the
>>>>> folks
>>>>> at the show had no
>>>>> way to know what I just told this group and I fully understand that.
>>>>>
>>>>> As we started to drive into the show grounds parking lot there were signs
>>>>> EVERYWHERE, probably
>>>>> dozens of signs, saying No Dogs allowed but before I saw any of those
>>>>> signs
>>>>> I was in the driveway
>>>>> headed to the parking lot and as I said I had no intent to take the dog
>>>>> in
>>>>> anyway and no intent to
>>>>> even go in unless I had seen something particularly interesting worthy of
>>>>> a
>>>>> quick hop out and look.
>>>>> There was no way to turn around and go back out. We were committed with
>>>>> a
>>>>> line of cars behind us.
>>>>> I told Lynn well we'll just drive on through the lot and see if we can
>>>>> see
>>>>> anything from the parking lot
>>>>> and go on. Then I see a group of ladies who are taking donations for
>>>>> parking. As we approached them
>>>>> Lynn and I discussed it and decided we'd go ahead and give them a
>>>>> donation.
>>>>> As I handed the lady
>>>>> a five dollar bill the Jack Russell was standing in my lap. She took the
>>>>> money and didn't say a word.
>>>>> We pulled forward. There was an open road to the exit straight ahead of
>>>>> me
>>>>> that would have taken me
>>>>> right down the side of the show where I could have looked briefly at the
>>>>> displays but there was a fellow
>>>>> standing there motioning me to go left. I did so without any discussion
>>>>> or
>>>>> argument.
>>>>>
>>>>> That's when it happened. This fellow who waved us left, probably mid
>>>>> 40's,
>>>>> about 6'2 maybe and stocky built but not overweight,
>>>>> with short cropped hair and looking every bit like a cop in street
>>>>> clothes
>>>>> let me turn left with the dog, now on the other side, hanging out the
>>>>> window of the truck in plain sight and then he YELLS OUT, again like a
>>>>> cop
>>>>> at a DUI check point,
>>>>> STOP RIGHT THERE SIR!! I NEED TO TALK TO YOU. Then he proceeded to
>>>>> walk
>>>>> over and start to lecture me with....
>>>>> Sir "I" can't allow YOU to take THAT DOG into the show. As he was about
>>>>> to
>>>>> continue I said in a polite but direct voice, Sir the dog is
>>>>> not going to get out of the truck. At that he backed off and left me
>>>>> alone.
>>>>> We proceeded out the back of the parking lot
>>>>> and left as we had intended to do all along.
>>>>>
>>>>> I hope the Smithsburg Boosters club puts the 5 bucks to good use because
>>>>> it's the last time they'll get a dime from me and the
>>>>> last time I ever intent to attend their show. It's not the shows fault,
>>>>> I
>>>>> have no argument with them. It's not the booster clubs
>>>>> fault, I have no argument with them. I fully understand why they don't
>>>>> want
>>>>> dogs running around in their show and I agree.
>>>>> What burned me was this guys power trip attitude which I'm sure no one
>>>>> can
>>>>> properly read into my writing but I understood
>>>>> loud and clear. I didn't mind one bit being asked about the dog but he
>>>>> could have done it in a friendly manner.
>>>>> I don't go to tractor and steam shows to be talked to like a street punk
>>>>> and
>>>>> if I subject myself to it again it will be my fault.
>>>>>
>>>>> Everyone at that show appeared to be friendly and welcoming this time as
>>>>> they always have been in the past EXCEPT this one
>>>>> bully. Obviously they have had a previous problem with dogs or they
>>>>> would
>>>>> not have spent a small fortune on White signs with
>>>>> bold RED print saying NO DOGS but they need to understand that someone
>>>>> from
>>>>> 400 miles away can't do anything about having
>>>>> their pet with them when they turn into a parking lot where there is no
>>>>> way
>>>>> to turn around and at least be polite about it. He seemed
>>>>> to have the attitude that "THIS IS MY SHOW AND BY GOD IF THESE JERKS WANT
>>>>> TO
>>>>> COME TO IT THEY BETTER TOE THE LINE AND
>>>>> DO LIKE I SAY!" The only thing that kept him from looking like Barney
>>>>> Fife
>>>>> is the fact that he was big enough so as to avoid being
>>>>> construed to be a comical fool. A fool yes, just not comical.
>>>>>
>>>>> All the man had to say, if anything, was a polite "sir, I assume you are
>>>>> going to leave the pup in the truck" or something to that effect
>>>>> but no he had to throw his weight and assumed authority around. If
>>>>> anyone
>>>>> from the Smithsburg Steam Show or anyone who runs
>>>>> a show reads this, please take it as I intended, as constructive
>>>>> criticism
>>>>> and realize that folks who go to your shows, sometimes from
>>>>> great distances, don't go there to be harassed and treated like
>>>>> criminals.
>>>>>
>>>>> Charlie
>>>>>
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