[AT] Paraprosdokian Sentences ...OT

[H. L. Staples]

it's good.
 




  

   Paraprosdokian sentences:

A  paraprosdokian is a figure of speech in which the latter part of  a
sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected in a way that  causes the
reader or listener to re-frame or reinterpret the  first part. It is
frequently used for humorous or dramatic  effect.

I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work  that way. So I stole a
bike and asked for forgiveness.

Do not  argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you
 with experience.

I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my  grandfather. Not screaming
and yelling like the passengers in his  car.

The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on  the list.

If I agreed with you, we'd both be  wrong.

We never really grow up; we only learn how to act in  public.

War does not determine who is right -- only who is  left.

Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not  putting it in a
fruit salad.

The early bird might get the worm,  but the second mouse gets the cheese.

Evening news is where  they begin with 'Good evening,' and then proceed to
tell you why it  isn't.

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal  from many is
research.

A bus station is where a bus stops. A  train station is where a train stops.
My desk is a work  station.

How is it one careless match can start a forest fire,  but it takes a whole
box to start a campfire?

Dolphins are so  smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they
can train people  to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish.

I  thought I wanted a career; turns out I just wanted paychecks.

A  bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you  don't
need it.

Whenever I fill out an application, in the part  that says "In an
emergency, notify:"  I put " A  DOCTOR."

I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming  you.

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four  billion stars, but
check when you say the paint is wet?

Behind  every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a
successful  man is usually another woman.

A clear conscience is usually the  sign of a bad memory.

You do not need a parachute to skydive.  You only need a parachute to
skydive twice.

The voices in my  head may not be real, but they have some
 good  ideas!

I discovered I scream the same way whether I'm about to  be devoured by a
great white shark or if a piece of seaweed touches my  foot.

Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others, whenever  they go.

There's a fine line between cuddling and holding  someone down so they can't
get away.

I used to be indecisive.  Now I'm not sure.

I always take life with a grain of salt...  plus a slice of lemon... and a
shot of tequila.

You're never  too old to learn something stupid.

To be sure of hitting the  target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the
 target.

Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.

A bus is a  vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as when
you are  in it.

Change is inevitable, except from a  vending
machine.



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