[AT] and you think its cold.

[John Grant]

Subject: and you think its cold.


 This is for "weather watchers"*
 From an Iowa friend.
 
 60 above zero:
 Floridians turn on the heat.
 People in Iowa plant gardens.
 
 50 above zero:
 Californians shiver uncontrollably.
 People in Cedar Rapids sunbathe.
 
 40 above zero:
 Italian & English cars won't start.
 People in Iowa drive with the windows down.
 
 32 above zero:
 Distilled water freezes.
 The water in Des Moines gets thicker.
 
 20 above zero:
 Floridians don coats, thermal underwear, gloves, wool hats.
 People in Iowa throw on a flannel shirt.
 
 15 above zero:
 New York landlords finally turn up the heat.
 People in Iowa have the last cookout before it gets cold.
 
 Zero:
 People in Miami all die.
 Iowans close the windows.
 
 10 below zero:
 Californians fly away to Mexico.
 People in Iowa get out their winter coats.
 
 25 below zero:
 Hollywood disintegrates.
 The Girl Scouts in Iowa are selling cookies door to door. (True!)
 
 40 below zero:
 Washington DC runs out of hot air.
 People in Iowa let the dogs sleep indoors.
 
 100 below zero:
 Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.
 Iowa get upset because they can't start the Mini-Van.
 
 460 below zero:
 ALL atomic motion stops (absolute zero on the Kelvin scale) .
 People in Iowa start saying..."Cold 'nuff fer ya?"
 
 500 below zero:
 Hell freezes over.
 Iowa public schools will open 2 hours late.