[AT] Greenville Shows, bad times...

[Dudley Rupert]

I think all of us would readily admit that this subject is off topic and
that because it is there are some who are likely offended by it.
Nonetheless I want to prolong this thread long enough to thank Farmer for
his initial post and all who have responded to it.  I don't know how much
encouragement this thread has been for Farmer but I know for me it has been
an encouragement that could not have come at a more needed time.

Three weeks ago my oldest brother and his wife from Florida and I went to
Spring Arbor, Michigan to "evict" our 92 year old mom from her home and
admit her to a local nursing home.  There were a dozen reasons why we knew
we had to do it ... forgetting to take her meds, taking a weeks worth of
meds all in one day, forgetting to eat/not knowing whether or not she had
eaten, leaving the stove on all night just to name a few.  Although my
brother and I had been telling mom in nearly every phone call, letter and
visit since Christmas that for her overall health and well being we ought to
start thinking about a nursing home she would clam up or say things like I
don't want to talk about it (which I guess amounts to the same thing) or you
can't make me leave my house.  Before making the trip I told my brother I
would play the "heavy" with mom and do the insisting that this had to be
done and that he and his wife could play a more supportive role.  Well I did
and they did and mom screamed, hollered, cried and sulked ...and I was the
object of her scorn.  My brother and I had thought for many years that this
day would probably come and so we made plans to carry the increased
financial load that we knew would be involved.  But I never - not even
once - gave one thought to the tremendous emotional load/strain that would
be incurred from doing this and I hadn't been the least bit prepared for it.

I guess encouragement is an old fashioned word, a word probably not found in
the PC dictionary and certainly one that you don't expect to see when
reading a website on ole tractors.  Without looking it up I am not sure I
could give it a reasonable definition but when encouragement comes my way I
do recognize it ... and this past week it has come many times over.  Thank
you!

Dudley
Snohomish, Washington


-----Original Message-----
From: at-bounces at lists.antique-tractor.com
[mailto:at-bounces at lists.antique-tractor.com]On Behalf Of David Bruce
Sent: Saturday, July 16, 2005 4:27 PM
To: Antique tractor email discussion group
Subject: Re: [AT] Greenville Shows, bad times...

You know, it is very difficult to comprehend how difficult caring for an
Alzheimer's patient is unless you are in the middle of it.  I can easily see
where your sisters could think "It's not so bad" but we know it is.  With my
great aunt I'm just on the edge of the situation but even so I've had a
touch of
how difficult it is.  My cousin stays with her during the weekdays, gets her
dressed and such, makes sure she eats and does an absolutely wonderful job
working with my great aunt.  Her dad handles all of the financial, legal and
the
various house "fix-it" jobs.  I think my cousin gets paid a bit for her time
and
I really hope she does.  She does such a wonderful job - my great aunt is
very
lucky to have such help.
I applaud all who can provide such help - and I hope someone will do the
same
for me if it is needed in the future.

David

Greg Hass wrote:
> I completely sympathize with Farmer's situation.  My dad has been gone a
> year and a half now after a 9 year battle with Alzheimer's.  He died at
> 81 after coming down with it at the "young" age of 73.  My brother, I
> and my dad lived on 3 corners of a crossroad, so we were all within less
> than 400 ft. of each other's homes.  Because of this, we were able to
> watch and check on him and he was able to stay in his home for 6-1/2 of
> the 9 years.  We, too, had to make the decision to put him in a care
> facility when twice in a short period of time we found he had wandered
> 3/4 of a mile from home in cold weather without a coat.  My four sisters
> all objected, but they were not willing to help out and my brother and I
> had medical ane legal power-of-attorney.  We did not bring him into our
> homes as we all worked, and more importantly, the doctors told us that
> if we tried to take care of an Alzheimer's patient he'd bury us first.
> When anybody mentioned being in a home, he did not even realize he was
> in a home.  A sad situation indeed.  Having been through it, my heart
> goes out to anyone who is still facing this problem with parents or
> spouses.
>
> Greg Hass
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