[AT] OT: But bear with me..................

[The MAd Scots Farmer]

(Since the list spam trap zapped this the first time, second try)

This is something I came across this, and I think
  it would be helpful..........

  Tuesday, October 10, 2006


  What not to say to a soldier and how to help them 
  adjust
  Current mood: stressed
  Category: Life

  I just recently met with Congressman Boswell on a 
  bill being introduced to the house for suicide 
  prevention for combat veterans. As I discussed 
  Jason's story I realized that the general public 
  does not understand the mental war a soldier 
  fights once returning home, so I have decided to 
  post some things here that Jason had discussed 
  with me and other soldiers I have spoke to.

  1. Please do not ask "did you shoot anybody?" This 
  is not a question that is easily answered. If they 
  were involved in firefights, some will have 
  horrible images left of the dead, if they were not 
  involved in firefights, they feel you will 
  instantly label them as weak.

  2. Most do not feel like heros once returning home 
  and have a hard time with all the "thank yous" and 
  hero fanfare. Jason did not feel like a hero. As 
  one soldier put it, I am a hero to my wife, but as 
  soon as I tell her about the dead women and 
  children then I will instantly go from hero to 
  monster. I will never be able to tell her anything.

  3. Instead of thank you offer a "Welcome Home". 
  When Jason got off the plane in DSM a woman saw 
  him in his uniform and asked if she could give him 
  a hug and kept saying thank you to him. He was a 
  little confused but gave her a hug. He had no idea 
  what the thank yous were for. He was in Iraq only 
  to keep himself and comrades alive, nothing else.

  4. The body never lies. Jason had a hard time 
  adjusting to the fact that a M-16 was no longer 
  attached to his side. He kept brushing his hip 
  looking for it. It will take awhile to adjust to 
  their protective equipment being removed. Loud 
  noises will cause reactions, fire crackers sound 
  like small arms fire, which in Jason case caused 
  him to automatically go into low army crawl into 
  the garage and take cover and position himself to 
  aim back at the enemy. Please be sensitive to 
  these things. Do not make them feel stupid or 
  crazy, just let them know they are safe and you 
  understand why they reacted this way.

  5. Some will never talk! This is essential to 
  healing the mental wounds. Fine a quiet space and 
  tell them that you truly want to help and as hard 
  as it may be to hear their story. Do not tell them 
  to put it away or forget about it. When Jason 
  finally did speak about the things he saw and did 
  he was crying out for his chaplin. A neutral party 
  that understood where he had been. Most will not 
  go to the VA hospitals, but Vet Centers are 
  located in most major cities that offer support 
  groups and is conducted by combat veterans. They 
  know more than anybody. Please locate these 
  centers in your area.

  6. Flash-backs do happen and leave the soldier 
  confused afterwards. Just try to help them back to 
  present time and again do not make them feel crazy.

  7. Survivor guilt - Jason questioned why he had 
  not died, but yet soldiers standing to the left 
  and right of him had. This is normal in any 
  traumatic situation that leaves survivors. Again 
  vet centers are available to help talk through 
  these feelings.

  8. Do not discuss whether you argree or disagree 
  with this war unless the soldier had made his 
  statement first. Please remember, most of the 
  soldiers fighting this war are Reserves and 
  National Guard, this was suppose to be a weekend 
  job...., so they were just as confused when they 
  were called to duty. But the reason they go may 
  not necessarily be because they agree with the 
  president, it's because their battle buddies need 
  them to be there to help keep them alive.

  9. Most soldiers will have a hard time admitting 
  that they are experiencing PTSD. It starts in boot 
  camp, they are taught to be tough physically and 
  mentally, this a hard mind-set to break. If we 
  keep PTSD in the news and on the minds of 
  Americans, it should be common knowledge that no 
  one comes home from a war unwounded. Adjustment 
  and counseling should be mandatory to be 
  reintegrated back into their civilian lives.

  10. Please do all you can to bring awareness to 
  this disease which as been around since every war. 
  Soldiers need our help, and yes it is true that 
  some of their rights are taken away once joining 
  the military and free speech is one of them. They 
  rely upon you and me, the ones they are willing to 
  die for, to stand up for them and fight for their 
  rights.

  In memory of Spc. Jason Cooper 4/16/82 - 7/14/05
  and the 88 Iraq veterans who took their lives 
  after returning home in 2005.

  www.jason-cooper.memory-of.com

  One proud Mom,
  Terri Jones

  Landen Schooler
  Palmyra, Iowa