[AT] O.T. - Alzheimer's follow up... - Portland countdown

Tue Aug 7 06:12:04 PDT 2007

Hi Farmer,

You and all of your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

Charlie
----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Francis Robinson" <robinson at svs.net>
To: "Antique tractor email discussion group" <at at lists.antique-tractor.com>
Sent: Tuesday, August 07, 2007 8:18 AM
Subject: [AT] O.T. - Alzheimer's follow up... - Portland countdown

> ----- Original Message ----- 
> From: "Francis Robinson" <robinson at svs.net>
>
>
>> ----- Original Message ----- 
> Also
>>> dealing with a very sick mother in late stage Alzheimer's.
>>> Travis
>>>
>>
>>
>>
>> Forgive the O.T.
>>
>>    Be careful about trying to deal with Alzheimer's alone... Diana and I
>> thought that we could deal with my mother's (she lived here on the farm
>> 300' away) Alzheimer's and care for Diana's legally blind and physically
>> handicapped mother at the same time (she lived with us for 3 years) in
>> addition to dealing with the rest of life (kid's problems, grandkid's
>> problems, great grandchildren's medical problems, money problems, farming
>> problems etc). Alzheimer's can stretch out for a decade in a long drawn
>> out gradual decline that can include a lot of paranoia and wild
>> personality changes, some of which can become very hateful and spiteful.
>> Your parent can become a stranger... We were treading much closer to the
>> edge than we realized when I finally had to order mom to move to an
>> assisted living center a couple of years ago because we could not watch
>> her 24-7 to prevent her from wandering off lost. She could no longer
>> remember even where she was in her house and she would slip outside and
>> wander without any idea of where she was, then she would panic and begin
>> screaming. It began coming on (noticeably) about 10 years ago. About a
>> year and a half ago I had to physically force her into a mental
>> institution after the hospital called and said that the doctors and 
>> medics
>> could not handle her to move her. They didn't want to restrain or
>> manhandle an 84 year old woman. That happened the same week that Diana's
>> mom was having serious cancer surgery in another city and we were on the
>> road when they called. Today my mother is 85 and still in assisted living
>> but I'm quite sure that she will not see 86. She was placed under Hospice
>> care last week at the recommendation of the facility that cares for her
>> since they are convinced that the end is quite near. Diana's mom is doing
>> pretty well at 91 and is now recovering from gall bladder surgery just
>> last week. She has been in a nursing home about a year after Diana's
>> siblings observed what the whole load was doing to her and insisted that
>> their mom move to a home. Diana still has the primary responsibility for
>> her care but does not have to physically do it. At least her mom's mind 
>> is
>> still good.
>>    Dealing with an Alzheimer's patient is one of those things that can
>> quietly sneak up on you and the load can keep increasing day after day
>> until it takes over your whole life and render you almost non-functional
>> as far as having any kind of normal life. At first you can get someone
>> else to watch them so you can catch a break but as they decline more and
>> more other people just can't deal with them so you eventually have to do
>> it all, all day and all night, every day... At some point you may find
>> that you are unable to get any of your needed work done and that you have
>> absolutely no private moments left. It becomes all consuming. Diana and I
>> both now have all of the surface symptoms of PTSS... Some days I think
>> that maybe at this point we might need a "keeper".   :-)
>>    I have been having discussions with our kids (all grown) lately being
>> very emphatic that they are NOT to attempt to personally care for us if 
>> we
>> end up going down that road. We will have the funds to provide for our
>> care in our home or in a nice "home" if it becomes necessary and that
>> burden of caring for us is not what I want for my kids.
>>    I believe that you owe it to your parents to see that they are well
>> cared for "someplace" but that you do not owe them your soul or your
>> sanity... I suspect that on this list that there are several (judging by
>> statistics I read) that are now dealing with aging parents that are in 
>> one
>> stage or the other of Alzheimer's. The early stages are not all that bad
>> but beware of the later stages, it can truly drag you down... Don't try 
>> to
>> go it alone. There is help available, find it and use it...
>>
>>    OK, back to old tractors... Are you guys seeing as many as I am going
>> to the scrappers? We need to run out and adopt all of them we can to save
>> them for the next generation, even in a non running condition.
>>
>> --
>> "farmer"
>
>
> *****************************************************************
>
>
>    Just a follow-up on my post of July 22nd. A few days after posting that
> message my mother was moved to the South Central Indiana Hospice center in
> Columbus Indiana to be made as comfortable as possible as her life ended.
> She was expected to live only a few more days but it became two weeks. My
> sister came up from Pensacola and she, Diana and I pretty much "camped 
> out"
> at mom's bedside 24-7 for the two weeks until she passed quietly on the
> morning of the 4th of August. Her funeral will be tomorrow at 2 PM. I 
> would
> repeat my statement saying to get some help if you happen to be dealing 
> with
> an Alzheimer's patient at this time. Do not try to go it alone. The last 
> two
> weeks reminded me of the movie "Groundhog Day"... The Hospice center was
> terrific, period...
>    You would not believe how far behind you can get with stuff in the rest
> of the world in two weeks (I was already years behind)...   :-)   Now
> Diana's mom (also in a nursing home) does not seem to be doing very well.
> At this point Portland is looking a bit shaky... We have not missed the
> Portland show for about 11 years but this may be the year...  There is 
> just
> too much stuff that has to happen yet this month and required Portland
> preparations have not been made at all.
>    I was really dreading trying to catch up on acres and acres of
> over-grown lawns, barn lots, horse lots, farm lanes etc. when I got home 
> but
> we discovered that son Scott and his girlfriend (they are getting married
> next month) had jumped in and mowed the whole thing (no small task) just
> before we came home. Sunday evening I used my Super M Farmall and 3-point
> bush-hog to mow around some fields and I mowed some road ditches 
> yesterday.
> The out of town family will all be gone Thursday and if the weather will
> cooperate I need to cut some hay to bale. I'll probably bale it in small
> bales since what I will cut first will be "sheep and goat hay" (polite way
> of saying weed hay)   ;-)   and buyers of such hay usually can't handle 
> the
> big round bales. Hay is running pretty pathetic here this year due to very
> dry weather. Weeds on the other hand are growing nicely.   :-)
>    I have been moving my woodshop to another building and trying to get 
> the
> existing shop ready for this winter. This is the year it becomes easily
> heat-able so that I can work in it anytime I want all winter long. Without
> the woodshop in that building I will also have a lot more room to work on
> several projects without piling one thing back to work on another. I'm
> really looking forward to being able to spend the whole winter in a 
> properly
> heated shop and catching up "a lot".
>    Its been a long decade...
>
>
> --
> "farmer"
>
> Francis Robinson
> Central Indiana, USA
> robinson at svs.net
>
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