[AT] O.T. - Alzheimer's follow up... - Portland countdown

Michael Mummert mummert at flatwoodplantation.com
Tue Aug 7 20:38:17 PDT 2007


Farmer,

I'm sorry for your loss.  We dealt with my wife's grandmother as she
suffered from alzheimer's for a number of years. Thw worst came after my
mother-in-law passed away due to complications from injuries in a car wreck
and we went through much of what you decribed. It is a tough, tough thing to
deal with.  

Mike

-----Original Message-----
From: at-bounces at lists.antique-tractor.com
[mailto:at-bounces at lists.antique-tractor.com] On Behalf Of Francis Robinson
Sent: Tuesday, August 07, 2007 7:19 AM
To: Antique tractor email discussion group
Subject: [AT] O.T. - Alzheimer's follow up... - Portland countdown

----- Original Message -----
From: "Francis Robinson" <robinson at svs.net>


> ----- Original Message ----- 
 Also
>> dealing with a very sick mother in late stage Alzheimer's.
>> Travis
>>
>
>
>
> Forgive the O.T.
>
>    Be careful about trying to deal with Alzheimer's alone... Diana and I
> thought that we could deal with my mother's (she lived here on the farm
> 300' away) Alzheimer's and care for Diana's legally blind and physically
> handicapped mother at the same time (she lived with us for 3 years) in
> addition to dealing with the rest of life (kid's problems, grandkid's
> problems, great grandchildren's medical problems, money problems, farming
> problems etc). Alzheimer's can stretch out for a decade in a long drawn
> out gradual decline that can include a lot of paranoia and wild
> personality changes, some of which can become very hateful and spiteful.
> Your parent can become a stranger... We were treading much closer to the
> edge than we realized when I finally had to order mom to move to an
> assisted living center a couple of years ago because we could not watch
> her 24-7 to prevent her from wandering off lost. She could no longer
> remember even where she was in her house and she would slip outside and
> wander without any idea of where she was, then she would panic and begin
> screaming. It began coming on (noticeably) about 10 years ago. About a
> year and a half ago I had to physically force her into a mental
> institution after the hospital called and said that the doctors and medics
> could not handle her to move her. They didn't want to restrain or
> manhandle an 84 year old woman. That happened the same week that Diana's
> mom was having serious cancer surgery in another city and we were on the
> road when they called. Today my mother is 85 and still in assisted living
> but I'm quite sure that she will not see 86. She was placed under Hospice
> care last week at the recommendation of the facility that cares for her
> since they are convinced that the end is quite near. Diana's mom is doing
> pretty well at 91 and is now recovering from gall bladder surgery just
> last week. She has been in a nursing home about a year after Diana's
> siblings observed what the whole load was doing to her and insisted that
> their mom move to a home. Diana still has the primary responsibility for
> her care but does not have to physically do it. At least her mom's mind is
> still good.
>    Dealing with an Alzheimer's patient is one of those things that can
> quietly sneak up on you and the load can keep increasing day after day
> until it takes over your whole life and render you almost non-functional
> as far as having any kind of normal life. At first you can get someone
> else to watch them so you can catch a break but as they decline more and
> more other people just can't deal with them so you eventually have to do
> it all, all day and all night, every day... At some point you may find
> that you are unable to get any of your needed work done and that you have
> absolutely no private moments left. It becomes all consuming. Diana and I
> both now have all of the surface symptoms of PTSS... Some days I think
> that maybe at this point we might need a "keeper".   :-)
>    I have been having discussions with our kids (all grown) lately being
> very emphatic that they are NOT to attempt to personally care for us if we
> end up going down that road. We will have the funds to provide for our
> care in our home or in a nice "home" if it becomes necessary and that
> burden of caring for us is not what I want for my kids.
>    I believe that you owe it to your parents to see that they are well
> cared for "someplace" but that you do not owe them your soul or your
> sanity... I suspect that on this list that there are several (judging by
> statistics I read) that are now dealing with aging parents that are in one
> stage or the other of Alzheimer's. The early stages are not all that bad
> but beware of the later stages, it can truly drag you down... Don't try to
> go it alone. There is help available, find it and use it...
>
>    OK, back to old tractors... Are you guys seeing as many as I am going
> to the scrappers? We need to run out and adopt all of them we can to save
> them for the next generation, even in a non running condition.
>
> --
> "farmer"


*****************************************************************


    Just a follow-up on my post of July 22nd. A few days after posting that
message my mother was moved to the South Central Indiana Hospice center in
Columbus Indiana to be made as comfortable as possible as her life ended.
She was expected to live only a few more days but it became two weeks. My
sister came up from Pensacola and she, Diana and I pretty much "camped out"
at mom's bedside 24-7 for the two weeks until she passed quietly on the
morning of the 4th of August. Her funeral will be tomorrow at 2 PM. I would
repeat my statement saying to get some help if you happen to be dealing with
an Alzheimer's patient at this time. Do not try to go it alone. The last two
weeks reminded me of the movie "Groundhog Day"... The Hospice center was
terrific, period...
    You would not believe how far behind you can get with stuff in the rest
of the world in two weeks (I was already years behind)...   :-)   Now
Diana's mom (also in a nursing home) does not seem to be doing very well.
At this point Portland is looking a bit shaky... We have not missed the
Portland show for about 11 years but this may be the year...  There is just
too much stuff that has to happen yet this month and required Portland
preparations have not been made at all.
    I was really dreading trying to catch up on acres and acres of
over-grown lawns, barn lots, horse lots, farm lanes etc. when I got home but
we discovered that son Scott and his girlfriend (they are getting married
next month) had jumped in and mowed the whole thing (no small task) just
before we came home. Sunday evening I used my Super M Farmall and 3-point
bush-hog to mow around some fields and I mowed some road ditches yesterday.
The out of town family will all be gone Thursday and if the weather will
cooperate I need to cut some hay to bale. I'll probably bale it in small
bales since what I will cut first will be "sheep and goat hay" (polite way
of saying weed hay)   ;-)   and buyers of such hay usually can't handle the
big round bales. Hay is running pretty pathetic here this year due to very
dry weather. Weeds on the other hand are growing nicely.   :-)
    I have been moving my woodshop to another building and trying to get the
existing shop ready for this winter. This is the year it becomes easily
heat-able so that I can work in it anytime I want all winter long. Without
the woodshop in that building I will also have a lot more room to work on
several projects without piling one thing back to work on another. I'm
really looking forward to being able to spend the whole winter in a properly
heated shop and catching up "a lot".
    Its been a long decade...


--
"farmer"

Francis Robinson
Central Indiana, USA
robinson at svs.net 

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