[AT] O.T. - Alzheimer's follow up... - Portland countdown

[yestergears at intrstar.net]

Farmer, 
  Forgive the lateness of the reply to your original
post on july 22, as you can imagine it has been busy.
 First, please accept my sympathy for your loss.  I'm
sure that you are comforted knowing she is in a much
better place. 
  It is no small feat to look after a loved one,
physically or emotionally.   I do appreciate your
advice, My mother has been in a nursing facility with
a wing specializing in alzheimers for the last two
years.  I spend a lot of time on the road since it is
60 miles away, fortunately my brother lives in the
same city and keeps a close eye on things.  Having
been raised with my paternal grandfather in the house
with us ( my father and mother caring for him) then
after his death caring for my maternal grandparents,
and hearing my mother say how much she despised a
nursing home and hoped she never had to go there, It
was the hardest day's work I ever did to leave her
there.  It was however the best thing I could have
done for the both of us.  I was her primary care
giver when she lived on her own.  She was just a half
 mile away and until we realized things weren't right
it worked well.  She too began to wander off when she
went walking for exercise.  She began walking down
the middle of the road and when  I would check on her
in the evening near the end of her staying alone, she
would have everything packed on the kitchen table and
be ready for me to take her home. There were a couple
of times I had to ride her down the road and back to
satisfy her.  My brother didn't believe things were
that bad living away, he didn't see the day to day
issues I did.
   I too tried the caring for her at her home routine
but with a pending divorce and custody of  a 12 year
old, farming until I could sell it to finalize the
divorce, there was no way I could bring her in my
home.  I do believe that the nursing home has
prolonged her life and the quality of it for a short
time.  She actually improved for a few months when
she was first placed there .  We made her think she
was going in for them to do therapy on her drawn
hand.  It was just a few months before she wasn't
home anywhere else.
   The sad part is that she is now bed ridden and
knows none of us.  Watching my now 14 year old deal
with his grandma not recognizing him was my toughest
part.  She is also unpredictable in whether or not
she will slap you when you bend over the bed to kiss
her goodbye.  I've had my bell rang several times
when I didn't see it coming.
  Even with all the help you can get, it is still a
long ordeal.  I'm not sure how long she has left. 
She goes days without eating but then will eat.  She
is a shell of her former self.
   She was always a caretaker of the family, and a
typical southern small farmer's wife, by my dad's
side until his death in 88. 
 Some of my fondest memories are of the days when we
worked the farm with the only tractor we owned, a 140
Farmall.  She and I would ride the transplanter
"settin Pepper or tobacco" dropping plants and it was
called here. My dad made me learn to "drop" right and
left handed.  He always had right handers but left
handers were in short supply.  I will always remember
running the old tractor breaking land after dark in
the spring when the air would have a chill to it and
the muffler would be cherry red in the middle with a
little fire out the top when the old farmall would be
pullin hard.  I couldn't wait to turn around and have
the warm air coming off the engine to warm me up.  We
always had fresh vegetables and meat from the farm
for the meals.  She would work the farm when she
could and have the meals ready when we showed up to
eat.  Every cardiologist on the planet would condemn
the menu for cholesterol, but it sure was good eatin
and kept us going.
   Cucumbers, squash, tobacco, pepper, soybeans,
corn, hogs, cows, were all produced on our little 80
acres.  I still have my dad's tax returns from the
50's.  He made the same price per bushel on corn that
I was getting when I stopped farming.  He always said
that the pepper crop paid for the tobacco harvest. 
By the way around her we didn't prime tobacco, we
cropped it.  You have not lived until you have sand
lugged tobacco in 100 degree weather and until you
have hung those sand lugs in rainy weather and taken
those cured lugs out after curing.  If you don't get
an eye full of sand and gum, you aren't doing it right.
Sorry for the long rant, your family is in our prayers
Travis 



>------- Original Message -------
>From    : Francis Robinson[mailto:robinson at svs.net]
>Sent    : 8/7/2007 8:18:49 AM
>To      : at at lists.antique-tractor.com
>Cc      : 
>Subject : RE: [AT] O.T. - Alzheimer's follow up... -
Portland countdown
>
 >----- Original Message -----