[AT] O.T. - Alzheimer's follow up... - Portland countdown

Tue Aug 7 07:18:22 PDT 2007

Good Morning Farmer,

Your family are in our thoughts and prayers

Jerry NW Ohio

----- Original Message ----- 
From: "charlie hill" <chill8 at suddenlink.net>
To: "Antique tractor email discussion group" <at at lists.antique-tractor.com>
Sent: Tuesday, August 07, 2007 9:12 AM
Subject: Re: [AT] O.T. - Alzheimer's follow up... - Portland countdown

> Hi Farmer,
>
> You and all of your family are in my thoughts and prayers.
>
> Charlie
> ----- Original Message ----- 
> From: "Francis Robinson" <robinson at svs.net>
> To: "Antique tractor email discussion group" 
> <at at lists.antique-tractor.com>
> Sent: Tuesday, August 07, 2007 8:18 AM
> Subject: [AT] O.T. - Alzheimer's follow up... - Portland countdown
>
>
>> ----- Original Message ----- 
>> From: "Francis Robinson" <robinson at svs.net>
>>
>>
>>> ----- Original Message ----- 
>> Also
>>>> dealing with a very sick mother in late stage Alzheimer's.
>>>> Travis
>>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>> Forgive the O.T.
>>>
>>>    Be careful about trying to deal with Alzheimer's alone... Diana and I
>>> thought that we could deal with my mother's (she lived here on the farm
>>> 300' away) Alzheimer's and care for Diana's legally blind and physically
>>> handicapped mother at the same time (she lived with us for 3 years) in
>>> addition to dealing with the rest of life (kid's problems, grandkid's
>>> problems, great grandchildren's medical problems, money problems, 
>>> farming
>>> problems etc). Alzheimer's can stretch out for a decade in a long drawn
>>> out gradual decline that can include a lot of paranoia and wild
>>> personality changes, some of which can become very hateful and spiteful.
>>> Your parent can become a stranger... We were treading much closer to the
>>> edge than we realized when I finally had to order mom to move to an
>>> assisted living center a couple of years ago because we could not watch
>>> her 24-7 to prevent her from wandering off lost. She could no longer
>>> remember even where she was in her house and she would slip outside and
>>> wander without any idea of where she was, then she would panic and begin
>>> screaming. It began coming on (noticeably) about 10 years ago. About a
>>> year and a half ago I had to physically force her into a mental
>>> institution after the hospital called and said that the doctors and
>>> medics
>>> could not handle her to move her. They didn't want to restrain or
>>> manhandle an 84 year old woman. That happened the same week that Diana's
>>> mom was having serious cancer surgery in another city and we were on the
>>> road when they called. Today my mother is 85 and still in assisted 
>>> living
>>> but I'm quite sure that she will not see 86. She was placed under 
>>> Hospice
>>> care last week at the recommendation of the facility that cares for her
>>> since they are convinced that the end is quite near. Diana's mom is 
>>> doing
>>> pretty well at 91 and is now recovering from gall bladder surgery just
>>> last week. She has been in a nursing home about a year after Diana's
>>> siblings observed what the whole load was doing to her and insisted that
>>> their mom move to a home. Diana still has the primary responsibility for
>>> her care but does not have to physically do it. At least her mom's mind
>>> is
>>> still good.
>>>    Dealing with an Alzheimer's patient is one of those things that can
>>> quietly sneak up on you and the load can keep increasing day after day
>>> until it takes over your whole life and render you almost non-functional
>>> as far as having any kind of normal life. At first you can get someone
>>> else to watch them so you can catch a break but as they decline more and
>>> more other people just can't deal with them so you eventually have to do
>>> it all, all day and all night, every day... At some point you may find
>>> that you are unable to get any of your needed work done and that you 
>>> have
>>> absolutely no private moments left. It becomes all consuming. Diana and 
>>> I
>>> both now have all of the surface symptoms of PTSS... Some days I think
>>> that maybe at this point we might need a "keeper".   :-)
>>>    I have been having discussions with our kids (all grown) lately being
>>> very emphatic that they are NOT to attempt to personally care for us if
>>> we
>>> end up going down that road. We will have the funds to provide for our
>>> care in our home or in a nice "home" if it becomes necessary and that
>>> burden of caring for us is not what I want for my kids.
>>>    I believe that you owe it to your parents to see that they are well
>>> cared for "someplace" but that you do not owe them your soul or your
>>> sanity... I suspect that on this list that there are several (judging by
>>> statistics I read) that are now dealing with aging parents that are in
>>> one
>>> stage or the other of Alzheimer's. The early stages are not all that bad
>>> but beware of the later stages, it can truly drag you down... Don't try
>>> to
>>> go it alone. There is help available, find it and use it...
>>>
>>>    OK, back to old tractors... Are you guys seeing as many as I am going
>>> to the scrappers? We need to run out and adopt all of them we can to 
>>> save
>>> them for the next generation, even in a non running condition.
>>>
>>> --
>>> "farmer"
>>
>>
>> *****************************************************************
>>
>>
>>    Just a follow-up on my post of July 22nd. A few days after posting 
>> that
>> message my mother was moved to the South Central Indiana Hospice center 
>> in
>> Columbus Indiana to be made as comfortable as possible as her life ended.
>> She was expected to live only a few more days but it became two weeks. My
>> sister came up from Pensacola and she, Diana and I pretty much "camped
>> out"
>> at mom's bedside 24-7 for the two weeks until she passed quietly on the
>> morning of the 4th of August. Her funeral will be tomorrow at 2 PM. I
>> would
>> repeat my statement saying to get some help if you happen to be dealing
>> with
>> an Alzheimer's patient at this time. Do not try to go it alone. The last
>> two
>> weeks reminded me of the movie "Groundhog Day"... The Hospice center was
>> terrific, period...
>>    You would not believe how far behind you can get with stuff in the 
>> rest
>> of the world in two weeks (I was already years behind)...   :-)   Now
>> Diana's mom (also in a nursing home) does not seem to be doing very well.
>> At this point Portland is looking a bit shaky... We have not missed the
>> Portland show for about 11 years but this may be the year...  There is
>> just
>> too much stuff that has to happen yet this month and required Portland
>> preparations have not been made at all.
>>    I was really dreading trying to catch up on acres and acres of
>> over-grown lawns, barn lots, horse lots, farm lanes etc. when I got home
>> but
>> we discovered that son Scott and his girlfriend (they are getting married
>> next month) had jumped in and mowed the whole thing (no small task) just
>> before we came home. Sunday evening I used my Super M Farmall and 3-point
>> bush-hog to mow around some fields and I mowed some road ditches
>> yesterday.
>> The out of town family will all be gone Thursday and if the weather will
>> cooperate I need to cut some hay to bale. I'll probably bale it in small
>> bales since what I will cut first will be "sheep and goat hay" (polite 
>> way
>> of saying weed hay)   ;-)   and buyers of such hay usually can't handle
>> the
>> big round bales. Hay is running pretty pathetic here this year due to 
>> very
>> dry weather. Weeds on the other hand are growing nicely.   :-)
>>    I have been moving my woodshop to another building and trying to get
>> the
>> existing shop ready for this winter. This is the year it becomes easily
>> heat-able so that I can work in it anytime I want all winter long. 
>> Without
>> the woodshop in that building I will also have a lot more room to work on
>> several projects without piling one thing back to work on another. I'm
>> really looking forward to being able to spend the whole winter in a
>> properly
>> heated shop and catching up "a lot".
>>    Its been a long decade...
>>
>>
>> --
>> "farmer"
>>
>> Francis Robinson
>> Central Indiana, USA
>> robinson at svs.net
>>
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