[AT] Way OT; military Xmas

[Mike Sloane]

Christmas Operations Order

Date: Fri, 23 Dec 2005 12:20:01 - 0800 (PST)

From: OIC, Director of Christmas Operations

Subject: Ops order for Dec. 25 Christmas Operations Order: 12-24-05

Subject: Christmas

1. An official visit by Lt Gen Santa (NMI) Claus is expected at this
headquarters 25 December 2005. The following instructions will be in 
effect and govern the activities of all personnel during the visit.

    a. Not a creature will stir without official permission. This will
include indigenous mice. Special stirring permits for necessary
administrative actions will be obtained through normal channels. Mice
stirring permits will be obtained through the Office of the Surgeon 
General, Veterinary Services.

    b. Personnel will settle their brains for a long winter nap prior to 
2200 hours, 24 December 2005. Uniform for the nap will be: Pajamas, 
cotton, light, drowsing, with kerchief, general purpose, camouflage; and 
Cap, camouflage w/ear flaps. Equipment will be drawn from CIF prior to 
1900 hours, 24 December 2005.

    c. Personnel will utilize standard field ration sugar plums for 
visions to dance through their heads. Artificially sweetened plums are 
authorized for those in their unit weight control program. 
Specifications for this item will be provided by the servicing dining 
facility.

    d. Stockings, wool, cushion sole, will be hung by the chimney with 
care. Necessary safety precautions will be taken to avoid fire hazards 
caused by carelessly hung stockings. Unit safety Officers will submit 
stocking hanging plans to this headquarters prior to 0800 hours, 24 
December 2005, ATTN: DCSLOG, for approval.

    e. At the first sign of clatter from the lawn, all troops will 
spring from their beds to evaluate noise and cause. Immediate action 
will be taken to tear open the shutters and throw open the window 
sashes. DCSOPS Plan (Saint Nick), Reference LO No. 3, paragraph 6c, this 
headquarters, 2 February 2000, will be in effect to facilitate shutter 
tearing and sash throwing. Division chiefs will familiarize all 
personnel with procedures and are responsible for ensuring that no 
shutters are torn open nor window sashes thrown open prior to start of 
official clatter.

    f. Prior to 2400, 24 December 2005, all personnel will be assigned
"Wondering Eye" stations. After shutters are thrown open and sashes are
torn, these stations will be manned.

    g. The ODCSLOG will assign one each Sleigh, miniature, M-66, and 
eight (8) deer, rein, tiny, for use of Lt Gen Claus' driver who, IAW 
current directives and other applicable regulations, must have a valid 
SF 56 properly annotated by Driver Testing; be authorized rooftop 
parking and be able to shout "On Dasher, on Dancer, on Prancer and 
Vixen, up Comet, up Cupid, on Donner and Blitzen".

2. Lt Gen Claus will enter quarters through standard chimneys. All units
without chimneys will draw Chimney Simulator, M-6, for use during
ceremonies. Chimney simulator units will be requested on Engineer Job 
Order Request Form submitted to the Furniture Warehouse prior to 19 
December 2005, and issued on DA Form 3161,Request for Issue or Turn-in.

3. Personnel will be rehearsed on shouting "Merry Christmas to all and 
to all a good night." This shout will be given on termination of General 
Claus' visit. Uniformity of shouting is the responsibility of division 
chiefs.

    //Original Signed//

CHRISTOPHER KRINGLE Colonel, USMC
OIC, Special Services

DISTRIBUTION:  EVERYBODY WHO STILL BELIEVES


-- 
Mike Sloane
Allamuchy NJ
mikesloane at verizon.net
Website: <www.geocities.com/mikesloane>
Images: <www.fotki.com/mikesloane>

The test of our progress is not whether we add more to the abundance of 
those who have much, it is whether we provide enough for those who have 
too little. -Franklin D. Roosevelt, 32nd US President (1882-1945)


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