[AT] The Thinker

[jfgrant]

Subject: The Thinker


>
>  This is a little long, but the last line is worth it!
>
>  THE THINKER
>  It started out innocently enough. I began to think
>  at parties now and then -- to loosen up. Inevitably, though, one thought
> led to another, and soon I was more than just a social thinker.
>
>  I began to think alone -- "to relax," I told myself -- but I knew it
wasn't
> true. Thinking became more and more important to me, and finally I was
> thinking all the time. That was when things began to sour at home.
>
> One evening I had turned off the TV and asked my wife about the meaning of
> life. She spent that night at her mother's. I began to think on the job. I
> knew that thinking and employment don't mix, but I couldn't stop myself. I
> began to avoid friends at lunchtime so I could read Thoreau and Kafka. I
> would return to the office dizzied and confused, asking, "What is it
exactly
> we are doing here?"
>
>  One day the boss called me in. He said, "Listen, I
>  like you, and it hurts me to say this, but your thinking has become a
real
> problem. If you don't stop thinking on the job, you'll have to find
another
> job."
>
>  This gave me a lot to think about. I came home early after my
conversation
> with the boss. "Honey," I confessed, "I've been thinking ..." "I know
you've
> been thinking,"she said, "and I want a divorce!"
>  "But honey, surely it's not that serious."
>  "It is serious," she said, lower lip aquiver. "You
>  think as much as college professors, and college professors don't make
any
> money, so if you keep on
>  thinking, we won't have any money!"
>
>  "That's a faulty syllogism," I said impatiently. She exploded in tears of
> rage and frustration, but I was in no mood to deal with the emotional
> drama..
>  "I'm going to the library," I snarled as I stomped
>  out the door. I headed for the library, in the mood for some Nietzsche. I
> roared into the parking lot with NPR on the radio and ran up to the big
> glass doors... They
>  didn't open. The library was closed. To this day, I believe that a Higher
> Power was looking out for me that night.
>
>  As I sank to the ground, clawing at the unfeeling
>  glass,whimpering for Zarathustra, a poster caught my eye. "Friend, is
heavy
> thinking ruining your life?" it asked. You probably recognize that line.
It
> comes from the standard Thinker's Anonymous poster.
>
>  Which is why I am what I am today: a recovering
>  thinker. I never miss a TA meeting. At each meeting we watch a
> non-educational video; last week it was"Porky's."
>  Then we share experiences about how we avoided
>  thinkingsince the last meeting. I still have my job, and things are a lot
> better at home. Life just seemed... easier, somehow, as soon as I stopped
> thinking.
>
>  Perhaps the road to recovery is nearly complete for
>  me. Today, I registered to vote as a Democrat.
>
>