[AT] OT: Adding a little humor to the list

[Dean VP]

If you have seen these before, just laugh again.........
 

HOME REMEDIES (DO NOT TRY THESE AT HOME!!!!)

1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic.
       Simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat
       and presto! The blockage will be almost instantly removed.

2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing
       vegetables by getting someone else to hold them
       while you chop away.

3. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the
       toilet seat by simply using the sink.

4. High blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself
       and bleed for awhile, thus reducing the pressure
       in your veins.

5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock,
       will prevent you from rolling over and going back
       to sleep when you hit the snooze button.

6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of
       laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough.

7. Have a bad tooth ache? Hit your thumb with a
       hammer, then you will forget about the tooth ache.

AND..... Sometimes we just need to remember what
                 The Rules of Life really are:

                 You need only two tools: PB Blaster and duct tape.
                 If it doesn't move and it should, use PB Blaster.
                 If it moves and shouldn't, use the duct tape.

Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You have another chance!

And finally... Be really good to your family and friends. You never
know when you are going to need  them to empty your bedpan.

"Thought for the Day: Our days are happier when we
    give people a bit of our heart rather than a piece of our mind."


Merry Christmas to all list members and their loved ones!