[AT] Rejected Hallmark Cards

[Ricky Prescott]

I am sorry guys.   These were just too funny.  Ricky 



Subject: Rejected Hallmark Cards


      My tire was thumping. 
      I thought it was flat 
      When I looked at the tire... 
      I noticed your cat. 
      Sorry! 

      Heard your wife left you, 
      How upset you must be. 
      But don't fret about it... 
      She moved in with me. 

      Looking back over the years 
      that we've been together, 
      I can't help but wonder... 
      What the hell was I thinking?" 

       
      Congratulations on your wedding day! 
      Too bad no one likes your husband. 

      How could two people as beautiful as you 
      Have such an ugly baby? 


      I've always wanted to have 
      someone to hold, 
      someone to love. 
      After having met you. 
      I've changed my mind. 

      I must admit, you brought Religion into my life. 
      I never believed in Hell until I met you. 

      As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am... 
      That you're not here to ruin it for me. 

      Congratulations on your promotion. 
      Before you go... 
      Would you like to take this knife out of my back? 
      You'll probably need it again. 

      Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad! 
      (Available only in Tennessee, Kentucky & West Virginia) 

      When we were together, 
      you always said you'd die for me. 
      Now that we've broken up, 
      I think it's time you kept your promise.


      We have been friends for a very long time .. 
      let's say we stop? 


      I'm so miserable without you 
      it's almost like you're here. 

      Congratulations on your new bundle of joy. 
      Did you ever find out who the father was? 


      Your friends and I wanted to do 
      something special for your birthday. 
      So we're having you put to sleep. 

      So your daughter's a hooker, 
      and it spoiled your day. 
      Look at the bright side, 
      it's really good pay. 
             
     



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